Greetings everyone! As I’m sure you’ve all noticed, it’s February. Despite what T.S. Eliot said, I believe February to be the cruelest month. My favorite part about February is that I get paid the same as I do for longer months. One of my least favorite parts of February is Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been fond of it. I’ve always viewed it as the most commercial day of the year. Crystal knows that I don’t care for Valentine’s Day, but I do care for her. I want her to feel special on this day. So, over the years, I’ve figured out ways to make her feel special, but not get involved in all the commercial crap that comes with this day. Today, I’m going to give you a five step process for making Valentine’s Day a special day between you and the one you love without spending a ton of money and having to deal with all the pink and red crap that is sure to be decorating any place out and about. So, without any other pomp and circumstance, here’s my advice for a great Valentine’s Day in.
1.) The Gift. You should definitely get your loved one a gift for Valentine’s Day. “But, Jeff,” you say, “you said you were going to avoid the commercialism! We trusted you! How will we ever trust again?!” Woah, slow down internet friend. I said you were going to give a gift, not buy one. I assure you, you can still trust us. The best gift you can get your loved one is one you make. I know this sounds corny, but it’s true. Make a card instead of buying one. One of the most unique gifts I’ve ever given Crystal was a coupon book. I put coupons in it for things like getting out of one chore free, and other easy, free things. The point is the gift doesn’t have to cost anything to be extra special.
2.) You Cook Dinner. I cook dinner for us a lot. It’s just something I enjoy. There’s a big difference, however, between cooking dinner, and cooking a special dinner. It’s similar to the difference between just taking off your clothes and stripping. One is something anyone can do, the other isn’t. I hope everyone isn’t feeling too uncomfortable. Let’s move past that. Anyway… the trick is to cook something that you know how to cook, but is something you rarely cook. This year, for example, I am going to be grilling some steaks and steaming some crab legs for Crystal. In addition to that, you need to make a whole meal out of it. That means courses. Appetizer, main course, desert, and drinks. I know you’re thinking that the cost of this is going to add up, and it will. It’s super easy to justify to yourself though. Do you have any idea what this meal would cost if you were to go and have it at a restaurant? A butt load, that’s how much. Do yourself a favor and treat your special someone to a special dinner in. Also, you should volunteer to do the dishes when you’re done. It’s the only classy thing to do.
3.) Massage. That’s right, a massage. Not a neck rub, not a back rub, not a foot rub, but a massage. For your massage, you’re going to have to invest a little money, but very little. You’re going to want to pick up some massage oils, and a few candles if you don’t have any. That’s really about as expensive as it gets though. You can find some decent guides for giving a great massage online. Do yourself a favor and read one. What we’re going for here is the ambiance. You’re going to need a little help, and you will find that in the form of Pandora’s relaxation station. Trust me, it’s amazing. Set the mood, give a nice massage, and your efforts will be appreciated.
4.) A nice relaxing bath. This is the best way to end a massage. Draw your special someone a nice relaxing bath. Again, you’re going to have to spend a little money to make the bath special. If you fill the tub with water and shampoo, that isn’t special. Get some nice stuff. I will say though, the last time I went to buy Crystal some of her favorite bath stuff, I couldn’t find it. Thanks a lot, drug addicts, for making my bath salts hard to find. Some of us like to use those for their intended purposes, not to get high. Anyway, I was able to find some. Again, we’re shooting for ambiance. Dim the lights, bring in the Pandora relaxation station, and you’re all set.
5.) A movie. Sometimes, there’s nothing like a movie night in. The thing is, though, it needs to be about your partner. I know what you’re thinking. It’s true, there are few movies that achieve the romantic splendor that Die Hard does, but this isn’t about you. Seriously though, the only person who would do more things for love than John McClane is Meatloaf, but he won’t do that. I digress. Pick a movie that you know your partner wants to watch. While she is in the bath, you need to get the popcorn ready. Might I suggest a few recipes for some supreme popcorn? Get the popcorn ready. Have the glass of wine ready. Get the movie ready to roll, and enjoy* yourself an evening with your partner. (*if you simply can’t enjoy the movie, try turning it in to a drinking game, such as, “drink every time something is over the top ridiculous.” It will MAKE the movie fun!)
Here’s hoping that this week finds you all well. I hope that you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Remember, at the end of the day it isn’t about the commercialism and stuff. It’s about spending one day reminding the person you love how much you care about them. Have a great week, and be well.